Do you remember that time? That time you were in college or university, and suddenly no one was holding your hand?
You may remember being in high school, your teachers and guidance councillors always there by your side, helping you make the right decisions. If you ever needed advice, your favourite teacher would always be there, they would sense your hour of need. The guidance councillor would find you in the hallway, or summon you via the school intercom. You never had to find people, people would find you; and all the information you ever needed to succeed would be there, right in front of you.
In grades 11 and 12 you would regularly meet with your guidance councillor to discuss your progress, where you’d like to attend college/ university, they would help with the application process and provide you with everything you need to graduate with success. They would show you the steps to take to achieve your end goal. If you ever got a bad grade, or there was any worry you would not pass a course, you would sure hear about it sooner than later.
Suddenly, you are in university. You take your first steps on campus, there’s a lot of chaos around. People rushing to class, walking with a purpose, just like in Times Square, NYC. No longer do you have people “running after you”, or “holding your hand”. No longer do you have important information at the tip of your fingers. No one knows you. No one is there to tell you what you need to know to succeed. And no one is there to give you feedback about how to improve. You have no voice, and your voice is unheard if you don’t speak up.
If you ever need help, it is your job to seek for it. Even if you do not exactly know what it is you are looking for, even if you do not exactly know what resources are out there, you still have to be the one to seek them out and find them.
You are your own person. You are and have to be independent.
It may be frustrating at first, but eventually you get used to it.
5 Tips to Making it on Your Own:
1) BE OPEN – always discuss what’s happening with your friends and people around you, you may hear something useful, or come across a person who might be able to help if not now, then in the future. Don’t be afraid to share. Sometimes it can be a great outlet too, and a stress reliever.
2) MAKE CONNECTIONS – even though it might be scary introducing yourself to important people, or people you may not know, seek out those connections, you never know when they would become useful.
3) GET A MENTOR – try to find someone you connect well with, someone who has experience in the field you are interested in, introduce yourself, invite them for coffee, and make the connection, eventually you can also ask them if they would be willing to meet with you on a regular basis, and become your mentor. Sometimes it can even be a good friend of yours who has always been there for you offering you great advice! (you could have more than one mentor); you can meet a lot of people on LinkedIn (more about that later).
4) STAY POSITIVE – no matter what happens in life, your health is dependent on you staying positive, seeing the glass half full, and staying optimistic. It is when you remain positive that you can be motivated and come up with new and creative solutions to challenges; it is when you are motivated you have a rush of ideas.
5) ALWAYS LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES – always be aware of what is happening, look for opportunities, whether it is volunteering at some event, or attending an interesting talk or workshop. Whether it is helping a friend, or proof reading someone’s paper. Say yes!
IGNORE THE NAYSAYERS
There will come a time in your life, even multiple times, where you will seek out help, because you are no longer shy, you no longer care what people think of you, because you are confident and independent, and you know what you are looking for; or just because you know this is the right step for you. But all you will hear is “no”, “I regret to inform you”, “I cannot help you”, “we do not have any part time or volunteer opportunities”, “this position is not for you”, “we are no longer interested”, and I could go on….
After all you went through, all your development and self-growth, the sheer level of experience you do have, and yet to hear that echoing “NO”, can definitely have a strong effect on you. It is disappointing. It will make you feel ashamed. It will make you feel like you are worthless, and like all this effort was for nothing. What a discouraging experience, right? It is definitely okay to have all these feelings and thoughts. But if there is one thing you take away from this post, is that you should not and cannot let any of these thoughts and emotions consume you.
Do not let them bring you down, or make you feel any less than you are. Because you are not. You are still you. The same you with all that experience, knowledge, and skills. Wonderful things are only waiting around the corner for you.
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
Sometimes we just have to wait a little. By wait I do not necessarily mean being inactive, on the contrary. We still have to remain active, keeping our eyes open, but we also need to let time “do its thing”. Sometimes good things take time. It takes time and effort to achieve and find those aspects of life that will make you successful. Let this be an opportunity for you to think outside the box, and continue searching, researching, and contacting even more people. Making more connections, inquiring all around you. Until you find your YES.
Actually, it is when you “THANK” the naysayers, that you come to appreciate their “no” made you stronger. Their “no” made you dig deeper, and make things happen for yourself even better than you could before.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.